Major Update to FindAGrave Memorials

FindAGrave just announced two big updates that will have an impact on memorials for the recently deceased and who qualifies for a required transfer. These are changes that members of the genealogy community have requested for years.

You can listen to the audio:

Or watch the video (or scroll below to keep reading):

FindAGrave Updates Memorials for the Recently Deceased

The first FindAGrave update pertains to a sensitive subject – the creation of memorials for the recently deceased. This change comes as more people discover that someone on FindAGrave created a memorial for their loved one before the funeral even took place. In the case of my father-in-law, someone created the memorial before we even got home from meeting with the funeral home director.

Now when you create a FindAGrave memorial, you’ll be asked if you are a close relative. If you say yes, it will then ask how you are related.

They’re asking this because for the first three months after a person’s death, their FindAGrave memorial will show limited information if that memorial wasn’t created by a close family member or isn’t managed by a close family member.

Screenshot of FindAGrave entry for a recently deceased individual. (I redacted the name; it appears on the website, however.)

During that time, the memorial will display a link that makes it more obvious that close family members can have the memorial transferred to them. This is something that so many family members didn’t realize before.

In those first 3 months after the death, when someone clicks that and states how they are related, the transfer will be automatic. No more having to wait!

Between 3 months and one year after the death, the button will still be there, but it doesn’t sound like the transfer will be automatic. The site says, “To request to manage a memorial for someone you are related to (within our updated transfer guidelines) who has died in the past year, select ‘Manage’ and go through the process to become the manager of the memorial.” (As of 11 January 2022.)

So that’s a bit ambiguous as to whether the transfer will be automatic or if it is still has to be approved by the memorial’s creator.

Once a close family member manages the memorial or it is more than 3 months after the death, the memorial appears on the site just like a “regular” memorial, complete with all of the information that the memorial creator added.

How This Helps Family Members

You might be wondering what will keep people from lying? Won’t unscrupulous memorial creators just fib and say that they’re closely related to everyone? How does this protect the families of the deceased?

Here’s the cool thing about that relationship question being on there. FindAGrave can see that you’re marking yourself as a close relative. Some people create dozens, even hundreds, of memorials every week. Even during a pandemic, nobody is losing hundreds of close family members every week. This can serve as a flag for FindAGrave to spot unscrupulous behavior.

I do need to add that the majority of FindAGrave volunteers are wonderful, helpful people. It’s been a small minority who haven’t always been as sensitive as they could be toward the family of deceased.

Changes in FindAGrave Required Transfers

I’ve used the phrase “close family member” several times, and that brings us to the second big update at FindAGrave – an expansion of the relationships that are considered required transfers.

Previously, it had to fall within 4 generations – so you back to your great-grandparents or you down to your great-grandchildren. No in-laws, no step-relationships, no adoptions. Just strict bloodline. That excluded aunts and uncles, brothers-in-law, etc. This caused pain and stress to family members who wanted to manage the memorial of a beloved maiden aunt – a woman with no children. Because it had been outside of the required transfer, there were some memorial creators who refused to transfer, even if they weren’t related at all.

Now, the new guidelines have expanded those covered by a required transfer. As of January 11, 2022, those relationships are:

“…child, spouse/partner, sibling, parent, grandchild, great-grandchild, grandparent, great-grandparent, niece/nephew, great-niece/nephew, aunt/uncle, great-aunt/uncle, or first cousin. This would include adoptive, step and in-law versions of these relationships.”

FindAGrave has also clarified what will happen if two close family members want to manage the same memorial. If two members are related within these guidelines and both would like to manage the memorial, the member with the closer relationship should be given management.

I think these two updates by FindAGrave is a great step forward in being more sensitive to the families of the recently deceased and can help even more family members be able to manage the memorials of their loved ones.

Let me know down in the comments what you think about these changes? Are they good? Do you think they’ll help?

Further reading:


image of tombstones with text "Big Change: Major Update to Find A Grave"


Posted: January 13, 2022.

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  • While I have added many memorials to Find-A-Grave, I normally focus on whole cemeteries that are not listed there. Sometimes these cemeteries have included family members both close and extended. In those cases will you have to answer those questions to each entry or will the fact that you are starting a new cemetery exclude you from having to answer that for each memorial? I have always been more than happy to transfer to a family member but so far I have not been ask to transfer any of them. Also, I have added relationships to others that are my own family but as far as managing those memorials, I don’t see the need.

    • You’ll have to answer the question for each memorial you create. (You don’t have to go back and add it for ones you’ve already done.) It’s a simple check box on the memorial creation page that asks “Are you a close relative?” Just check yes or no.) If the death was in the last 3 months, the memorial will appear in limited view to the public, but you as the creator will be able to see everything, just like before.

    • I mean no offense to you in my post/reply. The reason you have not been asked to transfer any memorials you have created on Find A Grave ‘may’ be because they have no idea there is such a thing as Find A Grave or that anyone (particularly a stranger) is posting about their relative/deceased loved one’s personal life and legacy online. It was two years after my young daughters death that I stumbled across the postings on Find A Grave by a complete stranger. Many inaccuracies were written about her and family and even how she died. Thankfully after some effort and about three months time, the person did transfer the account to me. I was more than appalled this is even done and was devastated all over again. Unless the deceased is a public figure there should really be a law against this practice. Even with public figures there should be strict guidelines that must be followed. This is a persons’ legacy, their history, their life and reputations of the deceased and family members that is (seemingly by some) so nonchalantly being “created” by a complete stranger who knows nothing about the deceased or family, writing/posting as if they do have first hand knowledge – even pictures. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the idea of Find A Grave. And it can be a fantastic outlet and a healing experience for the family – if done by the closest family members and friends so is done properly, accurately and honestly.

      • There are hundreds of my relatives that I would never know where they were laid to rest if some kind stranger hadn’t entered them into FindAGrave. I do understand your being so upset about what happened in your case. That must have been quite a shock, and upsetting.

        Most people who make memorials for strangers do so with the best of intentions. Of course being careful with facts should be a highest priority, as well as treating family members with great care and understanding. Mistakes are sometimes made, even with the best of intentions, and care. Corrections should be swift, as well. I wish that this hadn’t happened to you.

        I’m so sorry for your loss.

      • yeah.. one of the issues on findagrave is that most want to take ownership of “their Family” however, you are not the only relative of your family member.. another thing is that genealogy isn’t about covering up the truth.. and so many want to do that also..

        It seems no one “gets” that many on here, have tons of years of research experience in genealogy..

        you can see quite plainly see on ancestry the family trees that are more than likely not accurate as all these new people coming in to it, they don’t even enter the info into their tree properly.. I see them all the time..

    • You shouldn’t have to ” Start A new Cemetery” most all cemeteries are listed, if you start a new cemetery, and call it a different name than the name it is already listed under all you are doing is creating a huge duplication mess.. then someone has to clean it up.. and its never the person who created the duplicate cemetery who cleans it up. You will notice that some cemeteries h ave several names, the problem is, not all of those names seem to be searchable.

  • I am so glad they are making these changes. I have requested transfers in the past with great success. But, I know of others that fought tooth and nail because the originator was not willing to make the transfer. There is no perfect solution but this is definitely and improvement.

  • I have now requested to manage the memorials for my aunt, uncle and cousin which are all in California. If my cousins wish to join the site or their children I am happy to let them manage them but I am the family genealogist so hopefully can care for them and add more.

  • i am very happy the transfers have been changed to more family members i have been trying to get my first cousins we were more like sisters. i have her parents and brother i tried and sent like 5 messages to who takes care of them memorial with no response. i wish i knew a different way to contact him. i tried on here and the email there is for him.

  • On FindAGrave someone did the memorial for my maternal grandmother who pass in 1933, and has her buried in a cemetery that was not even built until the mid to late 1950;s. i tried to send a message to the person that posted the memorial but never heard back and it has never been changed.

  • Definitely a change for the better, particularly the relationship definition change. In some ways I wish they would exclude full-blown memorials and/or obituaries for anyone who has died in the past 10 years unless supplied by family. With newspaper obituaries and online funeral home memorials there is full control by the families of the deceased. Sometimes the memorials on Find a Grave expose too much personal data of the deceased and the survivors.

  • I do hope they allow those that go to cemeteries and take photos and upload the info if it is not already on FindaGrave. My friend has done at least large cemeteries in our are and is working on the Riverside National cemetery.

    • FindAGrave is not preventing anyone from making a memorial. The only change to making a memorial is that now, on the form, there is a question “Are you a close relative?” Click yes or no. If you click “yes,” it will ask how you’re related. If you click “no” and the death was in the last 3 months, the memorial will show only the person’s name and dates for those 3 months.

  • I am more than extremely pleased about the changes to the recently deceased. I had one experience where a non family member built a memorial and when I emailed to ask the family relation, they responded they were not related, it was their hobby. I informed them my family was not a hobby and I did not appreciate them making a memorial before the funeral and before true family had the opportunity to build a memorial. I’ve figured out this person scours the funeral homes obit information and builds the memorail before the acutal funeral even happens. Knowing this, I made it a point to go in the day my mom died and build her memorial. It was a sudden accidently death and it was extremely difficult to have to focus on the FAG memorial that day, but I could not stand the thought of some stranger treating my mom like a hobby. Thank you so much Find a Grave for this change.

    • And if the obit says service pending they will make multiple sites with different cemeteries then merge when final obit is published.

      Another spin on this is they take the obit and build a site for any deceased or living relatives and for those deceased demand that you merge into theirs.

      Cyber bullying in Find A Grace has gotten ridiculous since Covid and good luck k with support.

      • oh my.. No, it was horrible 10 years ago.. so much worse than now.. many of those contributors have retired or passed on./.

  • Not real excited about the changes. I fully understand the need for being sensitive to the family of the deceased and not adding it before the actual burial, but there are millions out there that would never be added if it wasn’t for those of us who do this as a hobby and because we love genealogy and connecting families even adding obits and pictures. So, i don’t see how this will be of a great magnitude of help in limiting each addition until after the first three months. Of course, the transfer part is wonderful if any family member cares to do it. Most do not.

    • The memorials can still be created, and after 3 months after the death the memorial appears on the site just like any other memorial. This is not preventing anyone from creating a memorial, regardless of how or if they are related.

    • My parents and sister died in 2010, 2011 and 2016 and I am still mad that somebody made memorials for them. I find it quite intrusive.

    • @mynaime, I’m not excited about the changes either for the same reason you cited: people who will never be added. Amy, and those like her, only use Find A Grave for their own family members so they never think about “paying it forward” by adding memorials for the good of the community. They are perfectly willing for hundreds of people to never be added to the database as long as THEY are guaranteed their name will appear as the creator of their relative’s memorial.
      They also don’t seem to be concerned that now there is no way to report duplicates of these “new death” memorials (not added by relatives). There’s no way to add them to a Virtual Cemetery to report later. There’s no way to bookmark them. None of that matters to them as long as they get their names in that coveted “Created by” spot on Uncle Joe’s memorial.

      • I’ve been a FindAGrave volunteer for 13 years. I’ve added more than 70 memorials and added 170 photos, many of those to fulfill requests. I’ve also been a volunteer for numerous genealogy societies and helped with countless projects; I am quite familiar with the concept of paying it forward.

        As I noted earlier, these changes do not prevent a non-family member from creating a memorial for a recently deceased person. It does restrict the display of the information for the first 3 months after the death and makes it much more obvious to family members how they can request to manage the memorial.

      • right on.. you are either here for the “Greater Good” or yourself..the genealogy community has been for generations about the “Greater Good” all the new people are about themselves. I focus on Pre-1950 memorials.

        itis easy to report a duplicate..when you click on the memorial, off to the left it says report duplicate, click it, enter the duplicate # and send..if all of the fields match, it gets done right away, if not, someone has to review it.

    • right on.. all of these people who are offended by findagrave don’t have any idea of genealogy, how to research, and even how to enter the info correctly into the fields on ancestry. They like to claim everything is a mistake, when the written records combined tell the truth.

  • I have asked the non-related manager of my Grandparent’s memorials twice to move them to me with no response. I then emailed Find A Grave three times requesting they be moved under my management and still nothing. I finally just gave up. The current manager has my Grandmother’s middle name wrong and will not correct it, (there are no middle names or initials on their marker). They originally even had them in the wrong cemetery and argued with me about where they were buried! My own Grandparents whose Graves I visit monthly and whom I was pallbearers for and this unrealted person in another state argued with me about their names and where they were buried!

  • I think this is a fabulous idea! My cousin and I created and manage our family memorials. She had planned on adding her recently deceased mother’s memorial when the time was right for her and then found that someone else already did. She was furious. Also, the day of my father’s funeral, my cousin called me (she lived out of state and couldn’t attend) and told me someone had done a memorial for my dad. I was very upset, because I had planned on doing that when the time was right for me. It took me months of requesting that they remove it before they finally did. I agree with the person who said “my family is not someone else’s hobby”. Thank you for fixing this.

  • Amy,

    Thanks for this information. I have to admit that I am one of those people who are bothered when others do my family on Find-a-Grave. First of all, they are my family and when someone does this it is like they are taking away even my personal memories and emotional connection to my family. I understand that my parents are their relative or great-grandparent but they are my actual parent or family. Then there is the frustration that people often confuse people with similar names. That has happened with a child that my grandmother had guardianship over. Someone had her father with multiple names and information. The good thing is that it did lead me to correct information but the misinformation is there also. Others who don’t know our family history will be mislead by this.

    I have to admit this bothers me even more with Ancestry, FamilySearch and other websites. I find it happens with mostly people who are somewhat related. My cousin for instance went in and put all kinds of personal information, letters and photos for my parents, my two siblings and my brother-in-law, including their Social Security information on Ancestry. My brother-in-law still had a young family at home with my sister. If his identify had been stolen would this ‘cousin’ help my sister out with that mess? I asked the cousin to remove this and she ‘not so politely’ told me that she could do what ever she wanted to and that once she had possession of a family photo or information she was her’s. Of course this was after I had shared many of my family photos with her. Because of that two things have happened. First, I am VERY hesitate to share family photos and items with anyone because I’m well aware that I will now have absolutely no control of what becomes of them. I now have issues with Ancestry, as well. They told me there was ‘nothing’ I could do about it, even though she was only a cousin and I was actual family. I have not joined Ancestry nor FamilySearch and even though friends encourage me to I can’t seem to do it. I am offended that someone can put information as well as misinformation about my parents and siblings and I have no control. My grandnephew put my mother’s autopsy report on FamilySearch. That was horrifying to me. That is as personal as you can get. I know that my mom is their ‘Ancestor’ but she is ‘my mom’. I was seeing and reading the actual details of her results in a very non-intimate place and ANYONE could do the same. FamilySearch at least took it off when I contacted them. Another problem is misnaming family. A cousin who passed away shortly after placing a photo of my grandfather and another that at the time was thought to be his father and mother. Someone else found my grandfather’s photo and named it as his father on their family website. I tried to contact them. No response. So forever my grandfather will be seen on that website and others incorrectly identified. The other photo was later determined to be misidentified. It was his father and his step-mother not his mother. She is now also misidentified and so that mean my grandmother is also now identified incorrectly. No way to correct this. I know but others not so closely connected in generations will not know. I am basically the only one left of my family who can identify many of these people correctly because my mother and father spent hours showing them to me and telling me about them, most of my siblings are gone now. My sister and brother who are left really weren’t as interested and can’t identify them.

    Lastly, there is the new copyright changes with Ancestry. They can basically do anything they want with my families pictures that other people have put on their website. I have no control over what happens to photos of my parents, siblings, grandparents and others and ‘I’ didn’t even place these items on their website. I have no control. Even typing this comment brings up feelings of frustration and reminds me that I don’t trust nor like these places. I am confident that I will “not” join them. It is my silent protest. I am angry with them. The gain can’t be more than the loss I feel because of them.

    Frequently on both sides of my family I have seen someone distantly go in and completely change our well researched family trees. I have emailed those who have made these and two responded. The one man was from ‘Denmark’ and he actually told me how he was connected to my Cook grandfather (whose tree he had modified). He was connected through my dad’s brother’s wife. She was not an actual blood relative. This person’s great-grandaunt had married another time and it was this non-related to them husband’s family that distantly was somehow connected to my Uncle’s wife – not to my uncle, basically this person from Denmark was NOT related to our Wyoming family. Nice person but so frustrating. I have found this in all my family lines. One lady said she just happened to be in the cemetery and found the information for my Bomgardner great-grandmother, Clara Catherine. Problem was she wasn’t in the cemetery my great-grandmother is buried in, but she was able to change her information. My Swedish line was paid for by our family and our main family history researcher, a cousin. We literally paid a well known and respected Swedish genealogist to research this line. It was placed on FamilySearch. My niece’s husband’s sister (again not related to our family, nor had she even spent time with our family or knew any of us except my niece) but she felt it was her duty to change our family information. She changed the complete line. My cousin was furious about it. She knew absolutely nothing about our family or our history. The cousin who was connected to this researched actually knew our great-grandfather who gave much of the information about his parents. Their names and information had been changed when the changes were made also.

    Another thing I find that when you try to ask these people to fix their mistakes or take something off their site you either can’t reach them or they won’t do it. I find this to be very disheartening especially when it is my own parents and my siblings both whom died as young children. It seems that often people who do genealogy are so confident that they know it all that they can’t see or aren’t willing to see when someone else suggests they might have made an error. It’s odd but I run into it often and sense that I’m that way, a bit, also, I don’t like to be challenged. Another lady, had my Cross great-grandfather connected to a completely different family, parents and siblings. I tried to kindly suggest after multiple attempts to reach her with no response on her part, that she look at the newspaper article with his obituary that she had in her own sources to validate my concerns. She then responded that I was ‘stalking’ her and that she was going to make it so I couldn’t reach her. So ‘Geni’ also has false information about my family lines.

    Sorry I know this is extremely negative but this article and problem is one that has created a lot of emotions for me. It touches me deeply. Thanks for all you do and your information.

    • I can empathize. I have done extensive research on some people and contacted other Ancestry members to request that they make corrections, and they ignore me, and then others copy their mistakes. As far as the photos on Ancestry, if you own them, nobody else has the right to post them. In fact, Ancestry can sue people for copyright infringement if they post documents on other sites. You should approach Ancestry with that attitude. Threaten to sue and maybe they will take them down.

      • Is this the most current copy right information the way you understand as of this last year? If so, I truly appreciate your suggestion. I have tried to talk with them in the past and they basically told me I was stuck with it. Thanks for your response.

    • genealogy is all about sharing..always has been. I grew up in it as my mom and grandpa did our tree back in the 70s, when it was all sourced by paper.. when my grandma died, I scanned all of the family pics to add to ancestry. that is how I came across findagrave.. and yes, I added those pics to findagrave also. My intent is to share with anyone who is related who might not have any pictures..

      are you here for you? or are you here for the “Greater Good”

  • For several years, I have posted what I called Penciled in memorial, with name, dates and a message, that the bio would be added later because of several Obituary Hawks, who had no connection… Most of the ones I did were relatives , friends , and members of our church . I have always then turned them over to families who wanted them… unlike the Obit Hawk , who did my mother’s and would not let go.
    I am so very happy these changes have been made…. this also means that there is a chance that I will be able to manage a few (within the guidelines) family members that I have asked for transfer and denied
    I like guide lines
    Thank you for the explanation

  • Sounds like a great idea. I never add a memorial unless there’s a stone in place, and I’ve photographed it. I suspect I’ll never find one that was put up within 3 months of the death. I’m not a fan of the couch memorial builders, who add info from obits. I’ve wasted plenty of time trying to fill requests, that were based on the faulty information from obits. I’ve never asked to have a transfer, but I have had several transferred to me anyhow. I’ve never turned down a request to transfer.

  • I recently found my 3x great grandparents graves on Findagrave. I requested to have them linked. The creator transferred managment to me. It asked my relationship. The choice of grandparents was there but since it was my 3x great grandparents, I did not know if I should choose that. Should I have answered yes?

  • Excellent changes. I do Find a Grave as a hobby. I enjoy finding small church or family cemeteries with old gravestones that are deteriorating. I enjoy honoring people in the memorials and do not include obituaries (which used to be prohibited on Find a Grave). My hobby is not to download huge numbers but individuals. I create each memorial individually searching for their family connections and more complete names and dates. My hobby began when an elderly neighbor in charge of cemetery maintenance asked if I would write down all the names in the cemetery. I was there for my family only. It took me years. Now when I am looking for a relative’s grave, I try to document more and more. In doing genealogy, Find a Grave has helped me in my research. I try to create memorials that are accurate and respectful for researchers and family can see. I have never refused a transfer request.

  • Sounds like a great improvement. I am always happy to transfer a memorial to a close family member when they request it. Other memorials that someone else has posted for my family members have not always willingly been transferred to me when I requested it.

  • These updates are great!! I have several relatives memorials made by 2 different individuals who don’t accept messages . The burial place isn’t even correct. I’ve asked twice to have them transferred to me and have not received a reply from find a grave. I think management should require members to accept messages . I also think these people with hundreds of memorials should be gone through.

  • I am grateful for these chances. As an estranged wife who’s husband had a girlfriend, it is a blessing to me that I can control what is written on his page that will not hurt me and his children more than they already have been. I love genealogy and I cherish the facts, as painful as they can be sometimes, but at least I find comfort knowing the information is correct for posterity’s sake.

  • Some of the problems I’ve found are people who watch obituaries and add a memorial for the person who died. Some want to do this and keep the memorials to show how many they have added. I’ve asked some to transfer a relative to me and they refuse or won’t respond at all. Relatives are known for collecting family memorials and won’t transfer. I asked for my Great Grandparents from someone who refused. She lied and told FindAGrave they were her great grandparents also, when in fact my great grandfather was a brother to her great grandfather. The memorial has incorrect information that I can’t get changed.

  • This is a great step! I’ve actually had no trouble with adding/editing relatives’ pages, but need other help. An historic Black figure (Sgt. Elijah Marrs, 1840-1910, Jefferson Co. KY)) has a wife listed with links in FubdAGrave. Sgt. Marrs wrote an autobiography that mentions a different wife (who is listed in the description, but not otherwise). I wrote to the manager with a link to the autobiography shortly before a special program honoring Sgt. Marrs at the cemetery where I volunteer asking the manager to correct or document. He has not responded. I’m not related to Sgt. Marrs (he was enslaved and had no children). Any thoughts on how I can get his record corrected?

    • If you haven’t already submitted the correction via the Submit an Edit function, I would do that. If you don’t hear anything after a month, contact and explain that you’ve submitted the edit but have not heard back.

  • I agree with this. I have always checked out those that ask to manage a memorial before transferring it to them. I have noticed in past years many have posted before the family has had time to bury there relative. I also know of some putting misinformation on people that can be very confusing for a family member doing family research.

  • I’m wondering about those memorials that are more distant say 3rd great grandfather that you’d like transferred to ones self? Can that be transferred? Also what if no one in the above relation category wants to have transferred , could a great niece or 2nd cousin have transferred? I d have for a genealogist in a family not be able to transfer a grave to stay in the family only because someone closer has no interest. I could be in this exact position now, although I hope one of the interested closer relatives will apply….

    • Anyone can ask for a transfer, regardless of relationship. But the only time that transfer is required is if the relationship is one of the ones spelled out by FindAGrave as being a required transfer.

  • I think it is about time. I have a very large family. And yes, I find memorials made before the funeral service starts. I hope it works the way you explained.

    • I too have found a memorial for a close family member that a non relative added before the funeral took place. I was going to add the memorial after things settled down in a few weeks. I was unable (after getting management transferred) to add and connect the burial of the husband, so I added new memorials for both that are connected.

  • Amy,
    Thanks for this article! These are very important updates to the rules and I appreciate them. I have had mostly good interactions with the folks who manage the memorials. One manager was very helpful in doing the research to find out why my aunt and uncle had tombstones in two different cemeteries.
    However, I asked one person to change some information on my Great Aunt’s memorial. Instead, she said, I am transferring all of your relatives for you to manage. Well, they were not my relatives but all had the last name of my Great Aunt’s deceased husband, who I never knew. They were all buried in Washington State while I live in Atlanta.
    I do think the new rules will be so very helpful. Thanks again for your article!!
    Laura Gephart Adams

    • you can transfer those memorials you don’t want to manage findagrave. just transfer to 8.

  • It makes it easy to find the grave again (or by another family member) if you open Google maps and take a screen shot of the cemetery with the satelight layer to see the actual cemetery from above. Use the basic editing feature on your phone to mark the location with a large dot or circle.

  • This is long over due. I am sure that some of the things will need fine tuning, but I am so glad they acted. As for the hardcore gravers who download spreadsheets, hoard, and simply do not get that the site is “Find A Grave” not “Report A Death”, they will either get with the program or wither away. Change happens online – and so often its change for the sake of change. This is real and meaningful.

  • Love the new updates have come from find a grave. I personally have never had a problem and wouldn’t hesitate to give up a memorial I’ve created to a family member. I encourage families to do so. It’s a intension of paying last respects to our loved ones.

  • I support the changes at Find-a-Grave. I am in the process of trying to get strangers to transfer my parents’ memorials to me. I have questions. I have suggested edits for my great-grandfather and other relatives several generations back. Is there a certain amount of response time allotted to the memorial manager? And if so, is there a point in time where the suggested edits will be put in place without the memorial manager directly responding? What if the memorial manager is no longer living, but I would not even know?

  • Glad to see some welcome changes being made to FG. There are other changes that would be welcome, also. For example, a memorial without at least a tombstone photo is not a “found” grave. I recently discovered several duplicate memorials that I flagged, only to have the suggestions rejected since the duplicate memorials are from are from different cemeteries in the same town. None of the memorials in question had photos or any other supporting information. I have initiated photo requests to all cemeteries in question in an attempt to resolve the discrepancies. If a photo is found at one cemetery and not the other, I doubt FG would make the change.

  • The new updates sound good to me. I have been pretty lenient about transferring memorials as administrator and do agree with this enlightened effort.

  • Not so fast…I created a memorial on Monday, 28 March 2022 and on 02 April, I went searching for that particular memorial to add and update with some additional information. I discovered I no longer had possession of the memorial. I discovered it had been transferred to another Find A Grave contributor on 01 April 2022. Upon closer examination, at the bottom of the memorial, the contributor to whom the memorial was transferred to, now has sole credit as the creator of my former memorial as RELATIVE – NIECE/NEPHEW. In other words – it appears to me that no matter what memorial you create for a recent death now, if a relative requests transfer within the three month period, it’s theirs no matter how much time and effort you invested into it. I keep detailed information for all memorials I create by taking a screen shot at the end of the day and placing it in a folder on my PC. I also keep a Virtual Cemetery of all memorials I have transferred to others. My point being – if you believe you will have the “Originally created by…” and your user name next to it – No. This Old Scarecrow (FIND A GRAVE ID 48666069)

    • The very same thing happened to me and I was very upset by it! I created a memorial for a very close friend who passed and a month later it had disappeared! With a quick search I found out her niece by marriage “Stole” it. Nothing I originally added as in photo’s and a flower with a message survived the heist. I contacted the niece and explained I would have been happy to transfer it to her but would have appreciated a heads up otherwise. She said when she did her search all she did was click on a manage button and proclaimed she was the niece and it instantly came into her possession. She never saw the photo’s or anything I had added. Brand-new memorials don’t reveal the creator either so she had no way of knowing. In this case because I am so close to the immediate family, we were able to work things out. She insisted I added the photo’s back and whatever else I would like. But had this been a stranger I’m sure the end result would have been completely different. I understand the concept of these new guidelines but they still need some tweaking. The original creator should still be listed and everything they have added remain unless specifically asked to be removed.

  • I think this new “management” tool will be extremely helpful for families. In the past, I’ve sometimes noticed that it appeared one person had posted information on the entire cemetery burials. I’ve tried to make it a point to connect all of my relatives regardless of where they are buried. When necessary, I’ve asked others to transfer management to me if I could demonstrate a family connection, and they’ve usually complied and vice versa.

  • Hi I read all the comments and wondered if you could help the many who posted and myself who requested transfer and are being ignored by the memorial managers and find a grave regarding transfer of close family and are being ignored. I requested early in the year twice to find a grave and twice to the managers. Maybe they would listen to your voice as you are well know and a respected speaker and professional.
    Thank you

  • I’m wondering who has the closer relationship between a spouse and a child? The children have flown the coupe 35+ years ago…. the spouse was there every single day 24/7 until the end, providing end of life care.

  • We need to address these “report a death” creators to stop putting the living family members in their memorials, especially if they are in no way related to the deceased. They have no idea what the families wishes are or the potential harm that might do. Specifically, a person in hiding from an abusive partner and they have listed location. The funeral home was asked to take it down and complied, the creator has not.

  • I appreciate some of these changes, and I appreciate the work that *some* non-relatives do. However, for the life of me, I cannot comprehend why FindAGrave does not require non-family members to cede control of memorials to relatives (even distant relatives) who request them to, whether the requestor is related by blood or marriage or adoption.

    • Many contributors to findagrave are serious researchers. You have to remember, there are more genealogy bugs and researchers on here than family members. They research the memorials in their care. I research 4 -6 hours a day. and Yes, on non family memorials.

      I have only denied transfer to one person because the transfers she wanted were for her 8th great grandfather. There are people I know locally who are also related. Besides the memorial is complete already.

      Also, If you were into genealogy, you would know about findagrave It’s not a secret.

    • It depends on if anyone has entered it. FindAGrave gets their entries from volunteers (and some cemeteries directly). If there is a headstone on it, don’t be surprised if someone makes an entry for it, even though people aren’t supposed to make entries unless they know the person is deceased.

  • Good guideline updates. I recently joined FG and requested transfers of my mother & grandparents from non-family users. So far transfers have happened in less than 24 hours.

    It would be nice if there was a public mechanism for ranking users’ responsiveness, etc. There may be some “bad actors” out there, but so far I’ve encountered only “good actors”. I believe in the power of positive feedback / reinforcement and I wish I could give some.

  • Spiritkeeper has wrong info on my family and I would like it corrected. When you’re dealing with Native ancestry it’s important to get it right. It could mean the difference between life & death for many Tribal Elders. my # is 207249-2930 if you wish to colaborate on MY family

    • You’ll need to contact that person through Find A Grave. This blog isn’t connected with Find A Grave; the person you’re trying to contact likely won’t see your comment here.

    • I Agree! They are very difficult to research. I added a Montana cemetery and then transferred to a gal who lives in that area and is a native.

    • your number should not have a hyphen in it.. I agree with you on native burials. when I end up with one, I transfer to a gal who is native and only works native burials.

  • My Grandmother Mary Cecelia Deveau Phillips. She is buried in Evergreen Cemetary, Houlton, Maine. She was the wife of Andrew M. Phillips, Mi’kmaw of Bear River . Nova Scotia. You have a picture of Sara Francis (Mrs. Leo Soloman) as my grandmother which is false. And you lifted the snippet of photo from a photo I shared in good faith of Sara Francis & my Aunt Ida Louise Phillips. Not cool. Fix this or I will get angry

    • I don’t have any connection with any of the people you mentioned, nor have I created any memorials for them or posted any photos of them. If you saw something on Find A Grave that needs to be changed, you need to contact the person who posted it. On the Find A Grave memorial, you’ll see a link to the person who created/manages the memorial or who posted any photos. Click that link to their profile and then click the link to send them a message.

  • I just encountered the new rule this weekend for a photo request for a lived one at Miramar National Cemetery. I always take a pucture of both sides of the gravestone and if possible add them to a memorial of both. I was able to fulfill the photo request for the husband but not the wife because of the restrictions about recently departed. She had passed in nov of 2022. I do not know what to do with the picture. I messaged the man’s memorial manager but they were not a relative so could not help. I hate to delete the photo. Would it be ok to post it on the husband’s memorial site?

    • I wouldn’t post it on the husband’s memorial. I would wait until the “recently deceased” period has passed, and then add the photo to the wife’s memorial.

  • I have also encountered a person requesting hundreds of photos in our area. I can only think they are doing some sort of competition and I find it disturbing. I belive others think so too because their message is disabled because of “negative messages”. They also kind of rant in their bio. So sad. Most of us do this for family unable to visit or like myself and my husband the exercise of tramping up and down hills on a treasure hunt😁

  • Recently listened to your audio on “Major Changes” Find A Grave made regarding relationship/transfer of loved ones gone before us. I myself am still getting what my beloved daddy use to say “getting my feet wet” with Find A Grave. By the grace of God & so many delightful understanding people out there I’ve been blessed to obtain many of my family members beyond the 4th generations guideline. It’s totally understandable that guidelines are in place regarding transfer & adding a memorial due to what I myself call “grave robbers”. I from the bottom of my heart with praise sincerely appreciate those who volunteer to place memorial in the sight for myself as others have family placed to rest all over the continent. The thing I do not like is telling me I “do not” qualify to manage a family member’s memorial. This is extremely heartbreaking especially to someone who knows their family history & has photos from the time their family came to the states. You’re told you may add pictures, but with that you’re only allowed so many photos. You’re informed you may submit information for the memorial to be edited, which may take 2 wks are longer, are even have to resubmit. Yes, these family members are gone… but some of us wish to “continue holding” our family & this is our way of doing so. It’s like we’re on a playground & the other kid doesn’t wish to share his toys. As I stated I totally understand a volunteer may have put a lot effort into obtaining that memorial for me, but then again if that person is doing it for the “right reasons” then what’s the issue of handing over to a family who can manage that “memorial” way beyond?!?! My grandmother has passed, my mother now has dementia & I’ve taken possession of an empire of family memories, 3 suitcases full of pictures, marriage license, birth certificates, death certificates, social security cards, military records, tax records, obituaries, newspaper clippings paystubs, etc. This I have a 3” hard back book of McClintock History. I’m told I “don’t qualify”! But a total stranger who knows absolutely nothing continues to hold my loved one, not me. This is where I believe exceptions SHOULD be made.

    Thank you for letting me vent,

    Heartbroken in Arkansas 😔

  • Can you remove a member for claiming a false kinship connection? It’s so disrespectful to the actual family of the deceased person.

    • You can’t remove another member from FindAGrave for that, but you can submit a suggested edit with the correct information or request to have the memorial transferred to you so you can make those corrections.

  • If I am a close relative as described in your post am I allowed to add relatives to the FAG page.
    such as parents, siblings, children, etc.

    • Any registered FindAGrave user can submit an edit to connect the memorials of spouses, parents, etc.

  • Can findagrave legally change the name on a photo credit… or change the name of the person who created a memorial?

    • The photo credit is whoever uploaded the photo, which might not be the same as the person who took the photo. As for the name of the person who created the memorial, that can change if memorials are merged. I’ve also heard that on memorials for recently deceased persons, the “created by” name will change if a close family member claims it. I have not been able to confirm or refute this.